call me Crowley (they/them) I am a queer adult and this blog is 12 years old (and also my main)(please ignore the predacon he is handsome and lives in the header now)
i’m the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job’s pretty easy. lot of “legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history” and “demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object”. no citations of course; they don’t pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that’s died down now which is great because i didn’t have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it’s called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.
i’m at a concert thingy and the bands don’t start for another 2 hours, but they have the stage set up and are letting people come up and do karaoke. this family just went up w their kids to belt out cartoon songs and when they held the mic up for the baby to try, it babbled cutely for a sec and then grabbed on and unleashed one of those horrible piercing baby SCREAMS at the top of their little baby lungs and i’m pretty sure wiped out the first 3 rows of people lmao
one of the bands sampled the baby shriek and added it to their songs
now for the ultimate test. go to this website. set it to randomly generate ONE pokemon. all generations. all types. whatever it generates? thats you as a pokemon forever. what you get is what you get. NO RE ROLLING. now. who are you? i got goomy :^)
I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.
AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE
for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis
Calvin’s parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They’re not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play
Now, from Calvin’s point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, “that’s nice, go shoot ‘em with your water gun, have a good time,” and the locals are like, “yeah, they’re an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time.” Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.
From Lilo’s point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.
Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.
OP I’m sorry but the last sentence painted SUCH a vivid picture in my mind I had to draw it immediately.
I love how Stitch looks more like a stuffed animal then Hobbes does.
I’m afraid with the recent death, it’s without a doubt that one of our guests here is a vampire. I’ve narrowed it down between Stacy, who was drinking “red wine” when we got here- Michael, who is goth, or Daniel, who I don’t like.
the discord server with a friend group i run decided theyd like to add an NSFW channel which so far has been terrible. for them. theyve found out new things about the world and about themselves ever since we added it and im entirely to blame
none of it is my fault since they asked for the channel and opened the flood gates when one of them outed me as being into vore. like oh you think youre funny for that. im gonna be hilarious then
I feel like this whole thing would be right at home on a steamy pulp novel
True to his character, Yellow kept fighting me with this one. I’d put it down as an abandoned idea but luckily @lacetop urged me to finish it and I’m really glad they did. Got to throw in some flower and tarot symbolismmm, too.
I had a blast trying out a new coloring/shading combo on this and I quite like the end result. 😌
Aug 06th
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